The Read Aloud: An Instructional Guide (genre reflection #2)

First, make sure you pee. If anything else, don’t neglect your bladder. What you think you can hold at the beginning of a read-aloud could change three...no two paragraphs in.

            After that’s taken care of, make sure you confer with your MT.

            What? Read? Oh! Yeah. No problem.

            Remember those last two words: No problem.

            Remember them when you walk—slightly hungover—to the front of the class, a book in hand that you haven’t even opened once this semester. Although, don’t worry. They don’t know that. Look at them. They probably think you worship the works of this author. Whoever it is. Shakespeare? Turn the book around. Oh, Faulkner. Breathe.

            Wipe the sweat from your brow. Breathe. Consider sobriety. Breathe. Open the book. Breathe. Forget which chapter you’re on. Breathe. Call on a student.

            Hey! Do you know where we are?

            Breathe.

            Yeah, Mr. P, we’re on chapter 11.

            Breathe. Thank him never.

            Open the book. Breathe. Flip to the chapter.

            Deep breath.

            Begin.

Make sure you’re loud. I mean, it’s in the strategy’s name: read-aloud. Loud. Nobody wants to listen to a timid mouse for 45 minutes. If the prospect of reading aloud frightens you, consider another occupation. I hear being a librarian is pretty quiet. But yeah, make sure you’re loud. Emphasize that word: CALAMITY!

Louder.

Wow, not that loud...tone it back. You’re not up for an Oscar. Breathe.

Don’t worry. Relax. It’s okay if you don’t know how to pronounce that word. Sound it out, but do it quickly and confidently.

            Faaaasssti—

            What did I just say? Are you even listening to me?

            Fastidiously.

            There. Much better.

            If anything, the least you can do is get the pronunciation somewhat phonetically correct.

            Hey, Mr. P, what does that word mean?

            Damn. Lexical challenge. Don’t worry though. I got just the thing for you to say.

            Google it.

            See? Easy. Breathe.

Most importantly, make sure they’re actually listening to you. I know it’s hard to keep track of your lineation, but, make sure you use your college wisdom—which cost you roughly 57,844 dollars—and visually scan. Try to isolate the texters, the head resters, the—

            Hey, Mr. P, you skipped a line.

            What?

            You skipped a line.

            Did I now? Or, could I have been making sure you were all following along? Hmm?

            Don’t falter. Hold his gaze. Breathe. Look to the texters. Squint with scorn, but not so much. You still want them to like you.

            Move along.

Also, make sure you stop for clarification sometimes. Listen to what your students have to say.

            Listen. Nod. Don’t pass out. Listen. Nod.

            Ask another question. Feel their jaded, petulant eyes stare into your soul. Let five seconds elapse. Nod.

            Continue.

You’re almost done. You can make it. You only have...don’t think about the page numbers. Keep going. It’s almost over. Breathe. Ten more words.

            Ten.

            Make sure you articulate.

            Nine.

            Don’t stand in one spot.

            Eight.

            Keep some water nearby.

            Seven.

            Don’t neglect a sip.

            Six.

            Pay attention to time.

            Five.

            Know when to stop.

            Four.

            Take a sip.

            Three.

            Finish.

            Two.

            This.

            One.

            Read-aloud.

Breathe.

Close the book. Stagger back to your desk. Take a seat. Watch your MT walk over to you.  Listen.

            Hey, you did such a wonderful job! I was wondering, could you possibly read for the next couple of classes? I think the students like your voice a lot more than the audiobook. They just seem to really resonate with you.

            Look at her. Smile.

            No problem.

            Remember those two words.

Remember to pee.